Monday, July 17, 2006

To snark or not to snark

Or perhaps we'll just talk about sex with vegetables today.

I have two things quite firmly on my mind. One, my mission to love snarkers and help them come into the light (, and two, sex with English cucumbers. I wrote it into my current writing-in-progress. Just add a nice Italian vingarette and you'd have a salad. Or maybe an Italian with a piss and vinegar attitude.

I fell yesterday. Off an embankment, into a mud pit. It was a tidal pool and smelled quite a bit like the "Bog of Eternal Stench." I'm not a big fan of being dirty. Dirty is fun to write (with cucumbers), dirty is not fun to enact (in the mud, after falling).

I'm running TWO contests off my site. One supports the other. CONTESTS!

So, here's the cucumber scene, which is just after the infamous 'shopping cart scene' (Darragha's Blog). Both are from "The Mooncusser," my current writing in progress and a companion book to Cold, Hard Kash (the heroine in The Mooncusser is a Shadow Lover).

THIS IS NC-17 RATED. If you can't handle serious smut, then please go play here

He reached across her and withdrew a cellophane wrapped English cucumber from their shopping bags. It felt hard and cold.
“This is the perfect instrument to bring your temperature down.” He slid the cucumber along the crack of her ass.
Vesper moaned. “It’s cold. I like it.”
He teased her anus with the tip of the long green veggie.
“Yes, if you want to. Yes!” Vesper replied.
Jerrod chuckled. “You are up for anything, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Vesper whispered.
Jerrod inserted the cucumber into her vagina, working it like a dildo. Vesper responded, just as he knew she would.
“Fuck yourself with the cuc, Vesper. Reach up from behind and grab it. I’m going to do you in the ass again,” Jerrod said. “And this time, you can come whenever you want to, because once I’m buried in your fine, tight butt, I won’t be long behind you.”
Vesper reached out, and encircled the cucumber with her long fingers. It was easy enough to work the thing in and out. Until Jerrod rammed himself into her rear-end.

One 'commenter' today shall receive the Liquid Silver Books ebook of his/her choice.




Anonymous Stephanie said...

D, you make that trip to the grocery store more and more entertaining :D I can't wait to see what other ideas your devious lil brain comes up with LOL

11:47 AM  
Blogger Meljprincess said...

Oh yea, Baby! LOL! Every time I see one of those cucs I get naughty ideas. When grocery shopping, I always pick one up and run my fingers lovingly down its bumpy flesh. Hot, Darragha!
It hurts to have your salad tossed with no lube. Trust me. HA!
Sorry you fell. Hope you're OK.
I've got an eBookman I'm trying to sell. And one of those palm pilot handheld deals. I don't know what to do with them! I've had no takers.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

Well, being English myself, I can say you write the merits of an English cumcumber extremely well ;)

Nothing like a good, solid cucumber on a hot day to curb the raging fire:D

Wow, that was kinda philosophical from me! lol

Sorry to hear about the fall.

12:06 PM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...

I love my Palm Tungsten T-5 (handheld). Love it. Use it all the time for writing with it's nifty little foldable keyboard. As for an ebook reader...well...I ordered two! One to give away and one to...give away! Probably to my hairdresser who thinks books should be read in bed. Fine, darling...take my book to bed with's an ebook reader for you!

12:24 PM  
Blogger readingissomuchfun said...

Hello Darragha,

This was a funny read. I liked it.
I can't wait to get my hands on one of your books. I know it will be really good.


12:46 PM  
Anonymous Debbie E said...

Hi Darragha,

I can see what I've been missing by reading about your cucumber but I have all your books now so I have to run away to read them. Why does everybody always need Mom when you are reading?? I thought it would get easier as they get older but no - now it's I need to go here, there and everywhere.

I think your contest is very generous and I hope you get lots of fans from it.

I'll be in touch!

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oooh...I thought the grocery store scene was hot...this is just EXPLOSIVE! :) *groan* I shouldn't have read this at work...I think I'm blushing, lol

1:02 PM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...

I have an English cucumber in my veggie crisper. Do you?

1:04 PM  
Blogger LISA WILLIAMS said...

What a hot excerpt. Loved it.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Deborah Chan said...

Hum! Is the grocery store open to get a cucumber now, lol!

2:44 PM  
Blogger Shuck Ying said...

Darragha, you certainly heated up my day!

2:45 PM  
Blogger Ray G said...

You rock. You get hotter with each stroke of the keyboard.

4:48 PM  
Blogger Estella said...

What an interesting way to use an English cucumber.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Jennifer Y. said...


5:43 PM  
Blogger Amy S. said...

Very hot!

6:22 PM  
Blogger Cathie said...

I rememeber reading about the shopping cart incident! Now falling in the mud, sign D, why you?! :) Hope you're ok from that fall. Its not fun falling as an adult!
Now when I shop i'll sure be looking at cucumbers in a whole new light, LOL

6:51 PM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said... lube...

They'd just been having "regular sex" so she was pretty "ready" if you know what I mean. However, when I go back and read that section, I could always slap a bit of olive oil on the cuc. I mean, they just went to the grocery store, after all.

I need to post an image of the car they do the cuc in!

7:10 PM  
Blogger Rae Morgan said...

I'll never view the Produce Section of my local gorcery the samer way again. I think I just went blind. LOL LOL


8:20 PM  
Blogger Jennifer Y. said...

I don't think any of us will Rae!

12:23 AM  

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