Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Trust

First off, MARCH MADNESS is COMING!!!!!!!

Yeah baby, YEAHHHHHH

Sorry. Yes, I am a basketball fan. And have you noticed how HOT some of those players are? Yes, I’m robbing the cradle in my dreams, but OH what sweet dreams they are!
There’s something about a man who can hold a basketball in one hand that just gets to me.

*wiping chin* where was I?

Oh yeah, my blog topic for the day *blush*

Last month, Bonnie Dee posted an Interview with a Submissive. Fascinating and thought-provoking stuff. The replies ranged from “not for me” to “what a cool topic”. I have to say I was on the “Cool Topic” end of the spectrum, especially since I was and still am immersed in writing my first Dom/sub story and very concerned about getting it right.

Trust is a very (very) necessary part of a D/s relationship and I think it’s the trust aspect that fascinates me most, since I’m such an untrusting little soul *blush*. So I have to ask, have you ever trusted someone enough to share your most secret and deepest fantasies with, to tie you up and ahem, tie you down?

And since I have you here, what do you like or dislike about BDSM stories?

20 Comments:

Blogger Bec said...

Hmmm, I'm going to wade right on in here.

What do I like? I like the 'no holds barred' approach to sex. The fact that there's no apologies and no excuses for people enjoying what they do about sex.

What don't I like? I don't like that the majority of BDSM novels I've read are somewhat lacking in plot and characterisation.

While great sex is fabulous to read...if I don't care about the characters or their stories...why should I care about what they get up to?

I know, I know, for an author of erotic romance that sounds really...well...prim! But honest, it's the truth!

4:10 AM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

Nope Bec it doesn't sound prim at all and I agree 100% =)

7:48 AM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...

I toyed (literally) with BD in my 4/3/06 LSB release, "Cold, Hard Kash." A dominatrix is the heroine of the story. She's more of a "Lady Heather" figure in that she oversees more than she participates. Kash was fun to write. Fun to research.

I find there's a deep well of erotica that runs from light BD (like Kash) to some downright cruel and painful stuff that reminds me more of the Spanish Inquisition than sex play. Either way, the characters and plot better grab me or the book goes out the door.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Robin49 said...

I have read some good BDSM books that are about the relationship, trust and sexual enjoyment. If a relationship contains all the above I would read it.

There are those out there that are just focused on control and stuff I wouldn't find pleasurable.

I have never tried it. LOL. Hubby would freak if I even mentioned it.

10:03 AM  
Blogger Dennie McDonald said...

If the writing is good - (yeah a cop-out answer, I know) but it's true. You can read/enjoy/understand to most sensitve to the sexiest topics if the wrting is good and draws you in. I will give anything a chance - reading wise - let's not go into my personal stuff here ;-)

10:15 AM  
Anonymous raine said...

There was one gentleman I trusted enough, yes.
There. I answered the question.
(evil grin...)
As for the stories--as the ladies have said, I need a little sumpthin' goin' on beside the whip, y'know? Do the characters change, evolve? Do I like them, or care WHAT they do? Is the story about power, or pleasure?
And no humiliation just for the sake of it. If it's playful and consentual and very hot, I say yeaahhh...

11:17 AM  
Blogger Faith said...

Hi Cece!

I just read your comment on my blog, and I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to visit and leave me such a lovely comment. I've met a lot of wonderful people here at Blogger, but that's one of the nicest comments I've received so far.

I hope you stop by again.

And I wish you the VERY BEST with your work. Writer gals gotta stick together, LOL.

11:18 AM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

LOL Dennie......ok I'll leave your personal stuff alone. Besides you're almost like family and some things you just don't want to know about family. ;-)

Again, Darragha I agree 100% If I don't care about the characters, then I'm not gonna care what they're doing in bed, out back or wherever ;-)

Robin...you could always leave it on his pillow with your favorite passage(s)/scene(s) bookmarked 8-D

11:28 AM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

Raine...vagueness becomes you (brat). I've....shared fantasies...but I've never trusted anyone enough. Nuf said.

>>Writer gals gotta stick together, LOL

Faith AMEN!!!!!!

11:31 AM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...

I have the heroine in Cold, Hard Kash evolve. She learns to trust. Kash, the hero, is a nice guy--a demon--but a polite one. He learns to take risks. He's not too fond of sex toys and bondage. He doesn't like to take anything to bed with him that isn't already attached. :)

I think the growth, evolving and learning to trust and love are what separate erotica from porn. Viva la erotica!

11:55 AM  
Blogger Bonnie Dee said...

As you know, I was toying with a BDSM romance, but I have a hard time in my mind reconciling the two. I find that when I attempt a BDSM scene, the action becomes hard, controlling and quite vicious. The sweetness of romance goes out the window. I can’t seem to emotionally juggle the two. I can make it sexually hot, but not loving.

I have to admit my spouse and I have a white-bread sex life. I’m not afraid to ask when I want to try something a little unique (and why am I always the instigator?), but generally it feels pretentious and silly to play-act at being something we’re not. This means either I’m super grounded in reality or I’m just really boring.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Jaynie R said...

Well I trust DH with my life so I have no problems with him tying me up *snort*

I love D/s books as long as theyre not too over the top. I prefer the ones with bedroom D/s rather than 24/7 which can get a bit much for me.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Beth Williamson said...

Interesting topic, Cece. I've had a helluva time getting on blogger today...
Hot pics of the BB boys... Yum.
I like BDSM stories that involve the characters and not just the acts. I hope that makes sense. I need to feel for them/with them/about them or it ain't happening for me.
Personally I haven't tried it, but that doesn't mean I'm unwilling to try it. I'd probably be a sub. :) TMI?

4:24 PM  
Blogger Rae Morgan said...

Plot is very important to me as a reader and a writer. Involved with that is characterization -- motivation and growth. So, BDSM could work into a novel if the characters have strong personal motivations for the ritual of the lifestyle. I always like to see strong trust and love evolve out of such a story. Add playfulness and a sense of humor and respect -- and I think it can work.

I've used some elements of BDSM in my stories but more of an appetizer or dessert -- not the 24/7 lifestyle. I couldn't see me or my heroines giving up that much control to a man on a daily basis.

As for personal -- hmmm, I'll keep ya guessing.

Rae

6:32 PM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

>>Viva la erotica!

Amen Darragha!!

Jaynie...I agree. I don't think the 24/7 thing would work for me either.

Bonnie....Romance isn't always sweet ;-) but it's all in what works for you.

>>I always like to see strong trust and love evolve out of such a story.

Rae...*pointing finger and jumping up and down* BINGO!


Bethie I love me some basketball boys *sigh* I think I'd be a sub too. I get tired of being in charge 24/7, day in and day out...but you know, I live wiht kids so I have no choice LOL.

What about anyone else?

Do you think you'd fall in the Sub category or Dom?

7:10 PM  
Blogger snowflake said...

What I like: the dirty talk, pleasure in bondage and fantasy play, the trust required for submission and domination

What I don't like: any humiliation/degradation of the heroine (crawl like a dog), emphasis on pain as pleasure, golden showers.

8:52 PM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

Jenny...thanks for stopping by!! Body fluids aren't my cup o' tea either *groan*

Sorry for the pun ya'll

9:39 PM  
Blogger blackroze37 -tami said...

i would love to be a whip some1 lady , like lady heather on csi

11:24 PM  
Blogger Michelle Miles said...

Oooookay... I'll confess. There was only ONE man that I told all my secret fantasies to...and it was the best sex of my life. Since then, no one has compared. Isn't that sad? And no, I wasn't marrid to him. ;)

The only BDSM I read is your stuff. LOL

11:26 PM  
Blogger Trace said...

I have *grin*

2:16 PM  

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