Friday, April 14, 2006

Yes, Virginia, there is an Incubus

Virginia went straightaway to Mass. A lengthy dirge in Latin and without hymns, she thought she might suffocate and die before making her way to confession. The heady aroma of the insence left her feeling stunned and out-of-sorts. The throbbing between her legs ached for mercy--and further relief.

She pulled her lace veil farther over her face and entered the booth. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been ten days since my last confession." She blathered on, the priest grunting softly his concern as he listened. "And then when the groom kissed my throat I thought I might swoon. That night I dreamed of being taken by a he-demon who rode in on a stallion. I could not tell if it was the he-demond or the stallion that took indecent liberties with my body. I believe it was a cominbation of the two. Dreams can be so odd. And Father, I enjoyed the relations. I awoke in a state of self-abuse that I have never before experienced."

The priest cleared his throat. Virginia heard the movement of fabric from behind the lattice work of the confessional. "My child, you have been plagued by a sexual demon . By an Incubus. You must pray hard. You must defeat the urges the Incubus implants in your young soul. Pray this way: I command you spirits of Incubus and Succubus to stop harassing me. I belive that Jesus is Lord over you and has dominion over you. He obtained his authority over you when he died on the cross for my sins and when he rose again on the third day. And He is now seated at the right hand of the Father, daily making interssion for me. I believe it and I plead his blood over my life, my home,my body, soul and spirit right now. You have no authority over me anymore,my life is Christ's. Amen. Child...demons don't want to go easily but they must when rebuked in the name of God."

"Thank you, Father. Will this prayer work with Italians, too?"


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