Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Sing, sing a song

Hellllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooo, LSB readers! It's me, Dakota Cassidy and I'm back to thrill, titillate, tempt, oh, okay, TAUNT you.

LOLI'm kidding. I would NEVER taunt you.

Today's blog is easy cheesy Japaneesie--all ya gotta do is tell me what your favorite song to boink to is. That's IT. No big deal and if you don't have one, you can make one up. I won't know and if I don't know, I can't call you a fibber. LOLLOL.

Anyway, here's my point--Everybody always says Sexual Healing, by Marvin Gay or Barry White's, It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me are all time boinking favorites. However, I thought I might talk about the songs you DON'T want playing in the background when you're making whoopie or the songs that make you cringe when you hear them because you had too much to drin--er, a minor indiscretion and the song will forever be a painful reminder of your "Oh, no, I did not!?"

For example--Meatloaf's Paradise By The Dashboard Light--K, I dunno 'bout you, but boinking in the car brings to mind sticky leather seats and the cheap, residual smell of your dates idea of dinner out--A Happy Meal you had to split cuz he was low on cash, ya feel me? There is no Paradise by the dashboard to be found if it's in a parking lot at the Motel Six. However, look on the bright side. If you had Two out of Three--it ain't bad. LOL

Another Meatloaf winner is, I Would Do Anything, But I won't Do That. Um, if he won't do that--then, you don't "do that", got that? LOLLOL

AC DC's What Do Ya Do For Money, Honey? The proper non-alcoholic response? Not you, honey :)

And more AC DC, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap--You'd better have gotten more than a meal that followed the question "Would you like that supersized?" outta this, young lady or we have to talk.

Help by the Beatles--If he's asks for help--you need to Let it Be :)

Like a Virgin, by Madonna. Er, look, if you hooked up with a virgin, what were ya thinkin'? This ain't day care, already...so you need to split and go to the big-girl playground or you're officially Borderline psych ward material. Cuz he is too young to be Crazy For You. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Love Stinks, by the J. Geils Band is a prime example of an unwise choice in attitude for a bedmate, yes? You might end up a Centerfold all over the Internet, if you're not careful.

Like a Prayer (Oh, that Madonna)--sigh--if he's prayin', you shouldn't be layin'. LMAO

If you're hoping for an orgasm and he tells you to Dream On, like Areosmith sings, uh, I think you made a mistake. LOLLOL. There is no Sweet Emotion to be had there and do remind him, Jaynie's Got a Gun...she can hurt him and he won't ever Walk This Way again :)

Here's one to really avoid, like the plague--Julio Iglesias' To All the Girls I've Loved Before--or you may leave with the plague. Plus, he sings that with a guy who has pigtails, for crap's sake...LOLLOL (sorry Willie).

Phillip Bailey and Phil Collins sang Easy Lover --if you were rippin' yer panties off before he even bought ya dinner--this applies to you. Have you learned nothing? This isn't some Groovy Kind Of Love, silly. If I were you, I'd say, "Take Me Home."

How about some country music--one of my favs :)

Kenney Chesney's She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy--Look, what the H-E double hockey sticks are you doing on a tractor? Naked, no less? This implies yer out in a field somewhere, behaving badly in a public row of corn in like Idaho, not to mention, you could easily get tics and hay fever or something. That ain't sexy LOL

How about Two Pina Colada's? By Garth Brooks. You know, the two you drank before you lost count of them and ended up spending the night with some greasy loser because in your drunken haze, his hair reminded you of Brad Pitts? LOLLOL

Here's another big Garth Brooks no-no--Ain't Goin' Down Before the Sun Comes Up--k, if I have to explain this to you--I can't help you on ANY level. LOLLOL. All I know is this, if I can't hear Thunder Rolls, I cannot be Friends in Low Places (dayum, count that--three--yes, THREE songs in a row. LOLLOL. wait, it gets better).

If you're Prayin' For Daylight (Rascal Flatts), well, then--again, I say, see self explanatory, cuz I'm Movin' On.

What if he calls you, Delilah (big, dreamy sigh...Tom Jones) and you're name is Tallulah? Well, they DO rhyme, yes? You need to ditch this zero and hit the Green, Green Grass of Home :)

Now, on the other hand, if he calls you My Kind of Lover, and offers to do The Stroke, with Two Tickets to Paradise as a reward--You're Leavin' on a Jetplane to Kokomo, baby. Cuz Love Is In The Air. I'll put you on the plane myself. (Billy Squire, Eddie Money the Beach Boys, John Paul Young and Peter, Paul and Mary whew!) Congrats, you've found you're One In A Million, and if you get lucky, you could be Goin' To The Chapel! (Larry Graham and the Dixie Cups)

Now, all you have to do is this--post your favorite mattress stomping song here in the comments section and you're in. I'll throw your name in a hat and you're eligible for a random drawing for some Chocolate from Godiva to be announced tonight at 9:00 EST :)

That's IT. So c'mon out and say hello to me. Don't be shy--I want to hear what ya like to listen to when you say to your honey, "Let's make nookie, cookie!"

Until next time--hugs and many thanks for all of your support,

Dakota :)

50 Comments:

Blogger robynl said...

How about My Love by Rick
James-slow and sensual.

1:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about sex machine by Dope. Dope is a band not to be mistaken for the drug.

Lee Anne

1:40 AM  
Blogger Lisa T said...

Naughty, Naughty by John Parr cranks it for my DH and myself. T t t tease me....lol.

3:40 AM  
Blogger Pam P. said...

Love this post Dakota, and first thing I thought of when I saw your email was Meat Loaf's Paradise, lol.

Shortly after meeting an ex-fiance, he was feeling good after a night of dancing and drinking. When we got him he did a strip singing NIB by Black Sabbath:

"Follow me now and you will not regret
Leaving the life you led before we met
You are the first to have this love of mine
Forever with me ’till the end of time

Your love for me has just got to be real
Before you know the way I’m going to feel
I’m going to feel
I’m going to feel

Oh yeah!

Now I have you with me, under my power
Our love grows stronger now with every hour
Look into my eyes, you will see who I am
My name is lucifer, please take my hand

Oh yeah!"

Well, it didn't last till the end of time as it turned out, but, damn, I never regretted following that sexy "Lucifer" after that performance! He had it all down pat, the sexy singing voice and all the moves.

4:40 AM  
Blogger Bec said...

ROFL!!! Well done Dakota! You know in reality I find music rather distracting...I'm very easily distracted. However, when thinking of songs...how 'bout "You n' me baby ain't nothing but mammals"????

OH what about 'Cream' by Prince. Not the manliest man...but it's a very sexy song to dance to...so if you can dance to it I be you can do...well...other stuff to it too!

6:13 AM  
Anonymous Cat DeW. said...

Lay, Lady, Lay (across my big brass bed) by Bob Dylan definitely makes me want to recline.

7:13 AM  
Blogger Nikita said...

Hmm, my favorite song to boink to? I have 3, my first favorite is "Hell In Your Eyes" from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack, it screams slow and sultry. Second is "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi, and the third is "Turn The Page" by Bob Segar, the Metalica rendition will do in a pinch though. LOL! Looking at those, there seems to be a theme there.

7:42 AM  
Blogger snowflake said...

Pretty Girl by Jon B.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous yesy rubi said...

ROFLMAO What a great way to start off the morning, that was hilarious. Now, I'm not really into the making love to music thing but one song did come to mind. But it's for the rare (very rare) occasion that I'm in the mood but my husband isn't. I can't remember the name of the group, but it's titled "I touch myself". Now there is a song guaranteed to get a guy in the mood quick! ;-D

9:17 AM  
Anonymous emma said...

all night long.................MaryJane girls...............sexy, sultry and soooooooooooooooo hot.........love the beat and the words..........
Emma............

9:51 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

~yawn~, morning sweet pickle relish,

great blog ~yawn~ topic darlin. you know i'm terrible at remembering song tit~yawn~les, damn i need more coffee, hold on

o~yawn~kay, i'm back.

you also know it's impossible for me to name that singer, so i'm just going to sit here and enjoy a cup of coffee and not think about ~yawn~ sex.

michelle

9:53 AM  
Blogger Jenna Howard said...

See Jenna sitting on the floor, weeping.

You put me on the day after Dakota, Tina?!?

A song? I can't think of a song!

10:37 AM  
Blogger snowflake said...

Another good one is Come Away With Me by Norah Jones

11:20 AM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...

I lost my virginity to Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd. A long time ago...

We don't have a boinking song...we just go for it when the mood strikes, the daughter isn't home, she's in her room with the tunes turned up, when both our bedroom doors are closed and locked...hey...we'll boink to the 6:00 news. Makes no matter to us!

Darragha

11:22 AM  
Blogger Meljprincess said...

Great blog post! Dakota, you're hysterical and quite clever.

Do it to it with music by Luther Vandross, Garbage, or Sade.

NEVER do the nasty to music by Eminem. When he starts singing about yeast infections it really ruins the mood.

"I love sex and candy..."
- Marcy Playground

11:45 AM  
Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Robyn, Lee Anne, Lisa T, Big smooches--color you in the drawing.

PamP--Niiiice A little BS will always stir yon juices, eh?

Bec--I forgot all about Prince! OMG--he's the boink master, huh?

Catdew--Holy Cow, of course, BD!

Niki, cookie, are we feeling angry today? Wanted dead or alive? LOLLOL. Or does that just mean ya don't care if they're barely breathing? LOLLOL

Michelle--um, right. I forgot--I'll pick an easier topic tomorrow, swet bread :)

Jenna? Cut that out. You'll be FABULOUS!

Jennybrat--niiiice. Darragha--you know, this doesn't make me bat an eyelash. LOLLOL

Emma--cool song. Yesy, my peach, it's when I think about you, I touch myself and I LOVE that song.Good choice, very flattering. LOL

Meljprincess--OMG--I had someone tell me that song by Marcy Playground reminded them of me, but I can't remember who and Hoo rah for Luther--God rest his soul

Thanks, guys!! Keep 'em comin'

Dakota :)

12:07 PM  
Blogger Bonita said...

Love the song choices, Dakota -- LOL. However, for myself and my DH, I prefer a nice BACKGROUND music to enhance the mood, not a lot of words, etc. Therefore, my favorite type of music as a sensual background is New Age (Yanni or Enya) and some classical selections. Personally, we usually put on 2 or 3 CD's so we have continous music playing. What I truly can not stand is to have the TV on in the background, talk about distracting -- ~s~

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL. My song choice is either My Sensual Mind by Anggun or By the Moon by Anggun.

Nicole

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ummmm, this was fun reading :-)) this isn't for the contest-I thought I'd just comment... we don't have certain songs, we just grab the moments when the kids are elsewhere...music gets lost along the way as we race each other to the bedroom, or to any other enticing spot .....glenda

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LIKE A MAN WITH A SLOW HAND, personally, Dakota! BWEG
Course, JAM UP AND JELLY TIGHT is interesting. And BOLERO is in a class all it's own along with UNCHAINED MELODY.

Hugs,
Patti

1:04 PM  
Blogger irisheyez said...

I love It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to me by Barry White. I am not sure if it is the lyrics which get me going but when I close my eyes, I can pretend that it is Barry White next to me with that deep sexy voice and then it's "watch out lover!!"

1:25 PM  
Blogger Jeanette J said...

You're Still the One-Shania Twain

1:45 PM  
Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Bonita--oh, yeah--Yannie rules :)

Nicole--never heard of them--going now to I-tunes to listen :)

Glenda--thanks, babe

Patti? The P sisters. Why didn't I think of that? LOL

Irisheyz and Jeanette--right on, ladies :)

DC :)

1:47 PM  
Blogger Annie Owl in GA said...

"Miz Rita"! you are SO absolutely hilarious! no wonder you're such a a wonderful writer! i am rolling off the chair and onto the floor and collapsing with laughter..

okay, my choices are:
Teddy Pendergrass, "CLOSE THE DOOR",
Teddy Pendergrass, "COME ON AND GO WITH ME,"
Major Harris, "LOVE WON'T LET ME WAIT,"
Norman Connors, "YOU ARE MY STARSHIP"
Which includes that wonderful line:
"come take me up Tonight,
but don't be late,
and don't you come too soon!"
It needs to be from someone who says, with Enchantment, "YOU'RE ALL THAT I NEED," or...we might find ourselves in a "LOVE TKO." {Teddy Pendergrass}

1:58 PM  
Blogger Isabella Jordan said...

I'm loving this week. You had me going with the tanning episode the other day and now this. LOL

I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen - you know, when there is a sleepover for the kidlets at Grams' house and everything else falls into place (right!) LOL

Hey little girl is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone.... LMAO

2:24 PM  
Blogger ConnieLynne said...

http://www.wanderlist.com/bestlovemaking

Found this on the internet. I like Enigma, Tom Jones, Andre' Bocelli, and few others to name to make love to. Although some of the fast songs have their advantage points. Barry White is one of my favorites.

2:30 PM  
Blogger ConnieLynne said...

The 80's had some good songs to make love too. The list is endless. smooches

2:31 PM  
Blogger Pam P. said...

Cat, I used to listen to Dylan's Lay, Lady, Lay at a younger age, across my bed, thinking about whoever I had a crush on.

Now, Van Morrison's Moondance will put me in a very romantic mood with the right guy.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Caffey said...

oh boy, you always have a topic that never ceases to amaze me, LOL.

I'm deaf so I'm out of an answer, groan. But i'm gonna read all said here!
Cathie

2:41 PM  
Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Isy--snort. Bruce. LOLLOL

Caffey, darlin'--that's okay by me. You can still feel the beat of love and that means yer rockin' da casbah in my book, baby :)

Connielynn--don't make me throw down with ya over Tom, now. LOL. Thanks for popping in :)

Pam P--ah, the Van and a brown eyed girl, eh?

Annie--you crack me up. Rita would roll over in her grave if she knew you thought I looked like her. LOL. thanks for dropping by :)

DC :)

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe Unchained Melody or Time by Enya. Like something slow and soft. Maybe "man with a slow hand".

2:51 PM  
Anonymous kimc said...

In my younger days (circa 1992) and I was away at college, my songs of choice were anything by NIN. Yes...yes. I was a pathetic goth wannabe. Now, however, I'm more into Sade.

3:20 PM  
Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

OMG--Kim C--my honey is SO into NIN. Yikes, they're loud, eh? LOL

Ans anonymous--Enya is nice to Sail away to :)

DC :)

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I touch myself by the Divinyls and relax by Frankie goes to hollywood


Lee Anne

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Cherie said...

Great post as usual! I have a sentimental attachment to a CD called A Love Like Ours. A close friend gave it to me with some wine and other goodies on our wedding day. My husband and I made love to that CD that first year so many times that I am surprised it did not break. When our anniversary roles around we usually bring it out for a romantic evening and some incredible lovemaking.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feel like makin love by bad company

Lee Anne

4:32 PM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...

I once made DH sing the Star Spangled Banner to me in mid-boink. That proved quite fun :)

5:01 PM  
Blogger A J Matthews said...

The whole of "The Kick Inside" album by Kate Bush. Gets me every time :)

5:09 PM  
Blogger Pamk said...

lol great post had me cracking up and that darn song by meatloaf does bring back some memories. All I can say was wtf was i thinking lol. Guess I was young and way too dumb. We don't do the music thing anymore. Used to a lot not sure why we don't anymore. But unchained melody and hungry eyes was good ones. And another one I couldn't do it to is Do you think I'm sexy by Rod Stewart? Love the music but just keep picturing him in my head and that's not good.

5:27 PM  
Blogger Cherie M. said...

How about the Theme Song for 'The Johnny Carson Show'! Ahhh those were the days....LOL

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Always.
I'll be loving you always.
With a love that's true, always.
Skies may not be fair, that's when I'll be there...
My DH sings to me.

pat

5:37 PM  
Blogger blackroze37 -tami said...

i cant believe no one has mention THE BAND , "the last waltz" cd? actaully quite alot of their songs,,
and who can forget ERIC CLAPTON?

pam i see u got VAN MORRISON :)

JOE COCKER
ALAMBAMA

5:51 PM  
Blogger Caffey said...

hehe I instant messaged my hubby because he has a bit of hearing and he said he loved to play LANDSLIDE by Fleetwood Mac. I so remember those times being young {{blushing}}
Landslide
I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
’till the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life
Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
’cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I’m getting older too...

and so on

6:35 PM  
Blogger Jaynie R said...

ROFLAO - actually Aerosmith spell my name wrong. The song is Janie's got a gun, but hey I always change it too.

We don't bonk to music. Need to be able to hear if little people are about to sneak up on us *g*

6:42 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Great topic!

One of my favourites is pretty obscure: Improvisation Sur Les Folies d'Espagne. I don't know why, but I find it terribly sexy. Listen here... Very baroque, I know...

Others, more mainstream, are Sade's Sweetest Taboo and No Ordinary Love. For an edgier experience, the band Portishead is great, as well. I also like Hunter by Dido and Gorecki by Lamb.

7:21 PM  
Anonymous blythespirit said...

I know this one is over-done but, Ravel's Bolero really is good to make it to.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dang Dakota! Hmmm! I would say whip good a 80's song! Run for your life when they want to beat you with there private parts!! Turn japanses I really think so is another good song from the 80's but not hot to have whoopie with.
LOL!!
Hugs!
Lisa R.

8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hummm... let me think.... ancient history....

Usually it's to the delightful sounds of a kitty scratching on the door wanting to come in - or scratching in the box to add scent to our endeavors, or the sounds of DH saying "damn cat got my toes! Didn't you put it out and lock the door?"
:)
Fuzz

9:28 PM  
Blogger Amy S. said...

"Let's Get it On" - Marvin Gaye

9:36 PM  
Blogger Pam P. said...

Hey Tami, Clapton rocks and I love Layla, both versions and for Cocker - She Came in Through the Bathroom Window.

Stones - Under My Thumb, lol.

The Doors - C'mon baby Light My Fire

10:56 PM  

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