8 Men and Little Ol' Me

"You need to get outside your comfort zone," my best pal, Kate said a few weeks ago. "Meet people. No online dating."

Me: "But I'm good online. I am awesome at emailing."

Her: "I know but are you meeting anyone? In person?"

Me: "Well..."

Her: "In the same country."

Me: "No."

So with my trusty sidekick on the other end of the phone I zipped over to a local website and signed up for speed dating. Shortly after giving my credit card number this was my thought "What the hell did I just do?"

I just stepped outside the comfort zone and I am here to tell you...I survived.

Yes, I survived. And you, my lovelies, get to hear aaaall about it. Because right after I signed up, I said to Kate: "Well, if nothing else, I have blog material."

And yes. Yes. I do.

First: the bar. It was not a dive but neither was it classy. Kind of a "we're going for the sexy look but we had no money." It was wrongly named. Plush? What the hell was plush about it? The circular booths? The gauzy curtains that surrounded every booth? The freaking uncomfortable couches that are low...to match the low tables? Or the stools all the men kept falling off of? Sexy indeed.

Second: the woman. They were fun! I'd so hang with them. Turns out one of the gals also went with the same matchmaker I did a few years ago and...she got the same doozy as me. Sweet.

Third: the victims. I mean...the men. Ah yes...eight (two chickened out...cowards!) guys of varying personalities.

Victim #1: The ME Guy

You know the one. I did this. I took a cruise for 7 days. It was amazing. I never had so much fun. I just got back from Victoria where I golfed. Wow. Is it green out there. I haven't golfed like that in a long time. I am in investment banking for one of the biggest banks out there.Oh, not in Canada but the rest of the world.

Tip: When you're out to me girls, ME Guy. Ask the woman something. Anything. Don't leave me sitting there mentally jabbing my eye out with the pen. B-bye. Thanks for coming.

Victim #2: Silent Sam

And I don't mean the vodka. As soon as he walked up I knew it was going to hurt. Now, I'm a shy girl but if I'm with a talker, I discovered I'll talk. This guy sat down, rubbed his thighs, cleared his throat and mumbled "Hi."

Me: "Hi." All perky and everything (plus I was smokin' hot in my new jeans. Oooh baby. Yeah.)

Silent. Silent. Me: "So, what do you do?"

Him: Silent. "I, uh," Yesss?

It was the longest 8 minutes of my life. I kept looking at the hostess to hope she would clink the glass so Silent Sam could go make someone else's evening painful. He was sweet but come on...you're here to meet people. Open your mouth!! I did. *coughs, looks around innocently. What?* That would be a ... no in Silent Sam's box.

Victim #3: Potential Stalker

Sweet. Well, first I heard all about his family. Uh. Yeah. Okay. And how he's traveled the world. Uh. Yeah. Okay. Then I heard about how he looooves England (what are you doing in Canada, dude?) and it's his favorite place on the earth. I heard about how he's an engineer. I heard about this. I heard about that. Then...I learned he lives in the same condo complex as me. Sweet. "We'll hit it off," he said. "We should meet up again."

Me: quietly freaking the hell out. "Uh. Yeah." Hunches over her input card NO!!!! with the note of MOVE in my own notes.

Victim #4: Cutie Patootie

Seriously. I could have just gobbled him up. The 8 minutes flew (curses) and wow...same interests. Yes.

Victim #5: Too Cool For School

Kill. Me. Now. The man did not stop to breath. At all. And if I heard "Makes a note of that" one more time I was going to kill him Riddick style: my cup in his chest. I heard about this new fad diet he's on. Oh he jumps out of planes for fun. Oh yeah, you are so cool. NO.

Victim #6: The Actor

There must always be an actor, right? Well...he made me laugh. Sarcastic. And then the killer: "Yeah, I just got a $5,000 raise which puts me over the $100,000 mark." Me: blink, blink, blink. (Note: not in acting). "Uh. Yeah." NO. Sorry, honey, but you killed it right there. Oy.

Victim #7: The forgotten one.

Who? What? As soon as he left the table everything he said...vanished. Gone. Poof. Who? What was your name? What did you just say? NO

Victim #8: The Charmer

Okay. British Charm rocks. That's all I gotta say. Mr. Charming slipped onto the couch, without falling I might add, "Looks like I saved the best for last." Jenna's eyebrows climb up. Niiiice line. Mentally scribbles "Dude...you're how old?" in her head starting to scratch him out. Only...not really. Funny guy. Entertaining. A little older than I want but whatever. Said yes. Enh. Screw it.

The food they promised was crap. Yes, I told the restaurant manager that, look at Jenna go!."Greasy wings and ribs...no. They were just too..." "Greasy?" I nodded. He sighed. "It's hard to find non-greasy appetizers." Yeah. No kidding but, dude, try. The break was the funnest part. Well, and afterwards. Because then you could mingle. Girls AND boys. At the end I hadn't laughed like that it in awhile. Some still hadn't filled out their cards and man alive the competition came out then. Cutie Patootie fetched food. Offered to feed the Actor the scallops that he was allergic to thereby ridding himself of the competition. I have a feeling Cutie Patootie got 8 yeses on his dance card.

Did Jenna? Enh. Whatever. I think Potential Stalker did. Sweet. And Silent Sam. Sweet. But not one guy didn't leave my table without laughing at least once. Who had more fun than my table? Hah! No one. No one!!

In truth the evening was an eye opener for me...I stepped outside my comfort zone. Hell, I met 8 nice guys (stalker/bragging/shyness aside), had free drinks and had a good time. On my own. No wing women at my side. Just me. The nerves vanished after Silent Sam because at least I wasn't that shy. Plus the break helped me relax where everyone jokes around on food and booze and we curvy girls made fun of the twiglike bartender. It's all good.

And if nothing else I discovered that (a) I can carry on a conversation with an utter stranger (did you see that Babe? I'm soooo ready. Bring it) (b) my comfort zone is what I make it - I referred to my booth as my kingdom and by the end of the night it was. Princess Flirty Jenna if you please (c) I'll go again (d) I'm not as shy as I think I am and (e) I'm not so freakin' scared about my set-up next week. Actually I'm really looking forward to it now where as I was freaking out before. I'll still be nervous, still the shy girl but come on...if I can handle 8...I can handle one sexy, slightly naughty fireman...right? Right? Right?!?

Jenna;)