Friday, February 17, 2006

Part Three - Did you hear the one...

Yes, oh yes siree, yes…here’s the joke:

Man 1 says: I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Man 2 says: Well what was the name of his other leg?

No, I never found it in this over stuffed, paper cut waiting to happen, filing system in my brain, nope. I did what any red blooded desperate blogger would do, I looked it up on askjeeves.com! I knew it had something to do with a wooden leg, a man named Smith, and the movie Mary Poppins, I just couldn’t pull the punch line off my tongue and I so wanted to end the day with success ~grinz~.

Anywho’s here are a few more little gems to see us into evening.

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."-- Rod Stewart


"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."-- Robin Williams

LOL, okay, Robin Williams is too funny. Accurate, but funny

Have you heard this one?

Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?

A. They won't stop to ask for directions.

And last but not least…the answer to an age old question of which came first:

The chicken and the egg are laying in bed.

The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.
The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".

Michelle


The contest is still open, so keep posting. I’ll announce the winner here later tonight.

7 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer Y. said...

LOL! Funny stuff!

9:31 PM  
Blogger snowflake said...

LMAO! The chicken and egg takes the cake.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

LOL, thanks Jennifer and Jennybrat. I loved the chicken and the egg one too. Someone had their brain in gear when they came up with it.

Michelle

9:37 PM  
Blogger Meljprincess said...

Thanks for the laffs *G* Michelle.

NEWSNEWSNEWSNEWS....LOL!

9:50 PM  
Blogger Mahaira said...

LOL! about the chicken and the egg, Michelle. Guess we really know the answer now. How am I going to tell the news to my kids??? :)

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.

The Pope declined.

2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope delcined.

A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.

At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!

Mahaira

10:25 PM  
Anonymous Bobby Jo said...

A little bad but not much lol

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room waiting for the
doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined
the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the
baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

Breast-fed" she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered
.
She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both
breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get
dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any
milk."

i know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi!! Good morning! I just got home from work! One good laugh before going to bed! Nit all

Megamie

6:59 AM  

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