Thursday, January 12, 2006

Are you ready for some SEX? - Part 3

Bet you thought I was done…

Dateline: Helena Montana:
A woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.








Will someone please get me the scales?

Dateline: Clinton, Oklahoma:
It is against the law to masturbate while watching two people having sex in a car.

I swear – I did not have sexual relations with myself while watching!

Dateline: Connorsville, Wisconsin:
No man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

Talk about taking the fun outta the evening.

Dateline: Liberty Corner, New Jersey:
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail.

“Damn it to hell, I told you to this would be considered a lustful act!”

Dateline Hastings, Nebraska:
Hotel owners are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.

What if I want a red one?

As I did research for this blog, I began to wonder who and how some of these laws are enforced.

Do women in Helena, Montana carry a scale in their purses on the off chance they want to table dance in a saloon?

Are they training moose in Fairbanks to read 'no sex' signs?

Can we really have sex in the front yard of any home in Bozeman as long as the sun still shines?

And, what num-nut created the need for the gun law in Connorsville, Wisconsin?

Oh, and who decided white nightshirts were best? Did the politician get a kick back from the bleach companies?

Another question: Why are these laws still on the books?


Can we get more light bulbs please.

Don't forget to read the contest details on post #2!

Also, if you have a moment, I revamped my website last week and I'd be honored if you'd take a peek.

Michelle
www.michellehoppe.com

15 Comments:

Blogger Dee said...

Hold on just a dangblamed minute. We've stayed in Hastings, NE and were NOT given a clean white tee shirt.

Maybe that's why they warned us not to have sex... I thought they were just interfering. Now I know it was a matter of the law.

Thanks, Michelle, for clearing that up.

Dee
www.deedknight.com

2:46 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Oh my Dee,
Perhaps on your next visit you could bring your own. Does DH look good in a nightshirt?

Michelle

3:13 PM  
Blogger Renee said...

ok I am glad that you didn't find any from here Michelle...although I can only say I am glad for that one about garlic breath LOL

3:23 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Hi Renee,

Yet, darling. I haven't found any from here yet!

I'm not done ~eg~

Michelle

3:25 PM  
Blogger Amy S. said...

Arizona

• You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Florida

• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

OMG Amy S.

• You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Do they do house by house searches an a regular schedule?

Florida

• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

OUCH! Damn, this one may actually be okay to keep.

Michelle

3:45 PM  
Blogger snowflake said...

Love your new website and the cover for Fins of the Flesh is awesome.

3:54 PM  
Blogger snowflake said...

Singapore - consensual oral sex is a criminal offense unless it is part of foreplay leading to proper intercourse.

Last I heard, it is under review.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

~Smiles~ thank you, Jenny. I do love the mermaid covers Brian does for me.

Have the powers that be in Singapore defined "proper intercourse"?

Michelle

4:16 PM  
Blogger snowflake said...

LOL No animals, that's for sure.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Pamk said...

dayumn Amy S. that one needed to come with a spew alert not have sex with a porcupine. I believe that is one that I can keep. Wouldn't be a problem at all.

6:43 PM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

>>You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

OPEN UP THIS IS THE DILDO POLICE!!!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

7:10 PM  
Blogger Christiana said...

"Dateline Hastings, Nebraska:
Hotel owners are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts."

Hmm... Um.. Can we say.. this does not happen? Used to Drive from Denver to Chicago every year, it so does not happen.. =X

8:38 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

OMG Cece, good one, doll.

I think all you folks who have been to Hastings should ban together and demand your white nightshirts.

Michelle

8:52 PM  
Blogger Christiana said...

But I don't want White.. ::smirks:: Red Velvet, or Black Velvet, or Purple anything yes, but no white.

9:36 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs2.5 License.

Click here to join liquidsilverreaders
Click to join liquidsilverreaders