Thursday, January 12, 2006

Are you ready for some SEx?

Oh good!

Todays topic is 'Sex Laws' you probably don’t want to break.

No really, you need to pay attention because there are politicians in many states, who worked hard to insure your visit to their fine location would be free of worries about some sex fanatic boinking his wife on their wedding night or having sex in the nude for pity sakes.

Today I will share some of the ‘Sex Laws’ still on the books in other states. I’d like to thank all those people out there in cyber space who have posted these laws to websites here and there so those of us with a need to know and Google search can seek out these little gems before we travel unsuspectingly to a state without our best interest at heart.

Dateline - Fairbanks, Alaska:
Moose are not allowed to have sex on city streets.

Who is going to stop a moose from having sex on a city street in Fairbanks? Has anyone up there weighed a moose lately?

Dateline – Ventura Country, California:
All cats and dogs wishing to have sex MUST obtain a permit.

For pity sake when was the last time you saw a dog or cat walk into city hall and get help? Come to think of it, when was the last time you saw a person walk into city hall and get help?

Dateline – Florida State:
From this day forward it will be illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.

I realize this Florida law doesn’t really have anything to do with sex, but think about it. If a woman can’t parachute on Sunday afternoon, she will be available for afternoon delight. Those Florida men are a smart bunch, yes sir.

Dateline – Coeur d’Alene, Idaho:
If a police officer suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.

Okay. Why didn’t they have this law in California when I was growing up? They really needed one. Honest, they did ~grinz~.

Dateline – Washington State:
It is against the law to have sex with a virgin under any circumstances, (including the wedding night).

OY…yes folks I’m sad to say I live in Washington State. I had no idea this stupid law existed. I’d like to meet the stuffed shirts who voted this one in and ask them if they left the state to consummate their marriages. Anyone got a light bulb we can borrow?

That’s it for now…check back in a little while for more strange and silly sex laws you probably don’t want to break. And of course I'll have a contest!

Michelle Hoppe

p.s. Remember I'm a west coast girl, so I'm actually on my way to bed for a few hours sleep. Be sure to post a comment, because you never know what kind of nutty contest I might run when I wake up and have my first cup of coffee ~grinz~!


Anonymous chibi-hentai said...

*grins* So, no parachuting on Sunday afternoons for the chibi. *sighs sadly* Poor me.

LOL, i'd like to see someone try to stop a moose from having sex on the street... it would be fun!

It's 4:15am here in warm, way too warm Florida. i'm going to make some waffles, i think... then go back to sleep. i found my shoes! LOL, i could only find one. Now i have both of them.

Now that i've posted that... sweet dreams!

Many blessings,

4:20 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Y. said...

Those are some very interesting laws!

I wonder how they try the moose in court (if they protest their citation LOL) they get a jury of their peers? LOL!!

-Jennifer Yates (can you tell I'm tired?)

4:35 AM  
Blogger Tamara said...

Does the cats and dogs wishing to have sex have to fill out the forms themselves or can someone do it for them? If they have to fill it out themselves, I'd really like to see that.

4:57 AM  
Blogger Robin49 said...

OMG they are funny! Now what I can't figure out is how they came up with these let alone how they would enforce them. If a virgin can't have sex then every pregnant women should have been arrested. Oh wait couldn't do that because who would raise the children and clean the house. LOL.

5:41 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

it is illegal in Tasmania Australia for gays to have sex. When caught they are tossed into jail together turning Tasmania into a real 'Penal' colony

5:50 AM  
Blogger Pam P. said...

"Rhode Island prohibits unmarried people from partaking of bedroom activities under any circumstances. However, if caught, the lovers are both fined $10."

If he's a sexy hunk, I'll gladly pay the fine! LOL

6:17 AM  
Blogger blackroze37 -tami said...

ive seen some of them weird sex laws, lol back in my heyday, id been doin hard time :)

7:18 AM  
Blogger MeAndMyPunk said...

Wow that was hard not to spew the coffee onto the moniter this morning LOL thanks for the chuckle! The scarey thing is we have voted those bozo lawmakers into office (sorry Bozo no offense)! Have a good day all, and fun reads to you.

7:25 AM  
Blogger snowflake said...

What an interesting topic. So how many times were you caught by the police? LOL

8:18 AM  
Anonymous annalisa said...

Did the lawmakers who came up with these moronic laws have nothing better to do? I'll bet they were all men! LOL

8:29 AM  
Blogger CelticLace said...

Oh, my goodness Michelle, these are great. haha My mom has a Law book with all kinds of crazy but real laws all over the world. Things one state, it's against the law for a man to see his wife naked. It doesn’t however say that any other men can't see her. haha I guess they have sex in the dark. haha Diane

8:51 AM  
Anonymous Cherie said...

Wow! What pathetic laws. What were these lawmakers thinking of when they came up with these?

9:04 AM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...

I broke the law in 1981, in Washington, on the twin bed, in the one-room flat, with the college boy.

And I've never looked back :)

9:05 AM  
Blogger Trista Ann Michaels said...

No sex with a virgin ever???

Glad I'm not one..hehe


9:06 AM  
Anonymous shellya said...

yep, these laws could only have been suggested and voted in by men!
These silly laws made me laugh. Thanks. :)

9:17 AM  
Blogger Estella said...

How crazy can lawmakers get? Just too much time on their hands.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Meljprincess said...

LOL! Pam. I live in RI. *unfortunately*

I've read tons of these sex laws and find them to be rather "limp" and totally stoopid. *G*

The one about the cop having to honk and wait is cool. Gives ya time to put on yir knickers.

10:00 AM  
Blogger cissi said...

Ah, to think that a "law" will stop anyone or anything from the joys of crazy are they?!

10:02 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Morning babes,

You've all been busy while I slept ~smiles~. I've had my first cup of coffee, posted part 2 of today's fun, and now I'm ready to enjoy your comments.

Chibi-hentai...nope, no parachuting on Sunday afternoons, LOL. Enjoy the waffles and congrats on finding that other shoe.

LOLOLOL Jennifer...good question, darlin. LMAO.

Actually Tamara, I didn't read the fine print of any of these laws, but you can bet if they expect a cat and dog wishing to have sex to complete a form, they are going to want it done in the first person (or dog/cat as the case may be.)

You, me, and I'm sure a lot of other people Robin49.

ROFL Megan...omg...too funny!

Thanks for the headsup Pam P. I'll be sure to stock up on $10's before I visit Rhode Island.

LOL Blackroze37 - as would I, Thanks Meandmypunk, bozo's is a good word for these guys.

HAHAHAHA Jenny, twice that I'll admit to!

LOL Annalisa, I think it's likely and Celticlace, I'd love to find a book with this stuff in it. I always enjoy this type of research.

I think Cherie, it's safe to say they were thinking with the 'other' head.

LMAO Darragha, I won't tell. As for you Trista Ann, I'll let Dakota know for her next 'digging the skinny' report.

Thanks Shellya and I agree. Yep Estella, too much time on their hands and in their pants.

HAHAHAHA Meljprincess, sorry on the RI thing LOL.

Yep Cissi, I'd have to agree with you there.


10:52 AM  
Blogger Maura said...

I had to laugh about the Ventura, California one - I grew up there and I can tell you honestly that no cat my mother rescued seems to have obeyed the law....

- Maura

2:55 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

LOL Maura,

Tell your mom to check for ink on their paws in the future. No ink, no sex!!

3:16 PM  
Blogger Kimberly Burton said...

As a real Huntress, I bet the law about not having sex while fishing or hunting on your wedding day was brought about because some stupid couple went hunting on their honeymoon. In most states you must wear either camo or hunter orange for safety reasons.

If you are naked in the woods and all a hunter can see is flashes of white, be it a bare ass, breasts, or whatnot, the hunter will most likely mistake it as being a white tail deer and shoot.

I feel sorry for that couple that had to go to the ER because the new groom got shot in the ass because he was mistaken for a deer! LOL

I wonder if that proud hunter tried to get his "trophy buck" mounted? Oh, wait...that is what the young buck of a groom was doing to his new wife! LOL

Either that, or some stupid newlyweds drowned or received serious hook wounds having sex on their wedding day while fishing! LOL

"That was not the worm! That was my cock you just baited the hook with!"


4:49 PM  
Anonymous Rae Morgan said...

I made it all the way through the 4th posting -- thanks for brightening my day. And you are correct, the guys who made these laws are num-nuts!

Rae Morgan

4:53 PM  
Blogger Pamk said...

lol loved the one about the moose i wouldn't try to stop them. And I guess everyone that lived in your area had to loose their virginity before coming there lol and really no pun intended.

5:42 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

OY Kimberly...I'm rollin here. Thanks. How you been, babe?

YIPPIE, Rae. Glad you made it through the entire series of posts and your welcome. Don't ya just love that word num-nuts?

LOL PamK, no pun taken hahahaha!


6:16 PM  

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