Tuesday, November 29, 2005

What's Your Biggest Fear?

What’s your biggest fear? From snakes to serial killers, there are plenty of thing to fear which could actually harm you. But some of our biggest fears are things that threaten our psyche or ego rather than our physical person. For example, fear of being alone or lonely is a prime motivator of most human beings.

In a related topic, what steps have you taken, if any, to overcome your fears?

The thing that makes me go heart-pounding, mind-numbing, tongue-tied stupid is public speaking. The weird thing is I can go onstage and perform in plays, usually in a chorus capacity but not always ( I was Golde in Fiddler once), because there are lines to say, songs to sing, things to do and another character to immerse yourself in. But to stand in front of a group of people, all eyes on me, and speak directly to them is another matter. Remember how in speech class they always told you it got easier once you got rolling on your subject? Bull! The longer I’m up there the more distracted I get by the staring eyes. I lose my train of thought and am liable to start babbling faster and faster, blood pounding in my ears, eyes darting around like a trapped mouse. What steps have I taken to overcome the fear? Um... Your turn.

Drop a comment any time today for a chance to win a free download of any of my books; Home Bound, Bone Deep or Season Spirits.

Have a swell, fear-free day.
Bonnie Dee

18 Comments:

Blogger Michelle said...

Good morning Bonnie,

OY, the think of them naked thing and I have to tell you the one time I did that, thought of them naked, it didn't help. I'd have to say public speaking is up there, but since I force myself to do it, it's not my greatest fear.

I'd have to say the thing that can cause me the most heart stopping moment is the thought of losing one of my children. Mind you I don't dwell on this, not at all, but every once in a while a news report or something will trigger that heart clenching fear and it takes a few seconds to overcome it.

For the most part I'm a pretty positive person and try to look at the silver lining in everything, including the things that make me fearful.

Michelle Hoppe
www.michellehoppe.com

9:08 AM  
Blogger jennyowl said...

My biggest fear is to be struck with a major disease, not being able to afford medical treatment and becoming a financial burden to my family. I strive to stick to a healthy diet and I have some insurance cover in place but I really should get out and exercise more.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While talking in front of a crowd can turn me into a wimpering crybaby, heights is what makes me want to wet my pants. If I was meant to like heights, I'd be over 5'2". I always get a little ill when I walk over the overpass by my parents house. Keep in mind I walked over this thing a lot. Even now, my stomach starts to melt, my palms get clammy. I swear I can feel the concrete swaying beneath my feet. I get dizzy. I fight the urge to grab the railing and hold on. I never do because what if there's no railing. Now this isn't an irrational fear. In elementary school the same overpass was smacked by a semi (I wasn't on it) but when they were repairing it, we walked across it. Without railings. I mean...wtf?! What kind of idiot kids walk across a bridge without railings above a main traffic artery. Us. So I have this fear that the railings will crumble if I touch them. I stick to the middle of the overpass and god help me if a cyclist comes along then I start to imagine I've been bumped over the edge and I fall into traffic. You'll rarely find me on my fourth floor balcony. I'd live on the lower levels if I didn't envision all four floors crashing down on my head.

We went up the CN tower once and they have a glass floor. Apparently that's in the Calgary Tower now. I'll never now. Three seconds I stood on that floor and thought I was going to throw up. We had a tour guide and all I kept asking was "If this floor is so secure, how come there's a net?" Blah, blah, blah tour guide. "Seriously. Why is there a net if this floor can't break?." I still feel ill when I remember that day in '85.

Then there's flying. That's a whole other ballgame. Okay, flying isn't a fear: it's the whole fiery death as we plunge from the sky to the earth. Turbulence? Forget it. Landing? Forget it. Take off? Take off, eh. I can't stand it. I hate the speel "In case of an emergency..." because that means there's a chance of the pilot screwing up. I need a barf bag. Right now. Just thinking about it. And realistically, how can my seat cushion keep me afloat if there are sharks in the ocean? Won't that make me look more like a turtle? For-get-it.

Me + my feet on the ground = good.

10:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

One of my biggest fears is public speaking. In high school, I would rather take a 0 than have to get up and speak in front of the class.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Making a speech or talking to large groups of people. Oooh, I can feel my neck starting to get red just thinking about this. All those eyes looking at you, time slows down and you're right I start talking faster just to get done.

As far as getting over this fear, not gonna happen. I do find looking only at the top of their heads helps to keep me from talking to fast. lol, I try to wear clothes that doesn't show a lot of my neck. That way they can't see how really nervous I am!

10:27 AM  
Blogger Vanessa Hart said...

I am very comfortable standing in front of a crowd of people and making a fool of myself *LOL*

But what scares me spitless is height. I had to give up snow skiing because I was too terrified of riding the chair lifts. Do NOT ask me to go to the top of any observation deck and look down. You do NOT want to be with me on one of those glass elevators riding to the fifteenth floor.

That movie CLIFFHANGER? I had to walk out during the opening scene.

Nervous Nessie

10:39 AM  
Blogger Bonnie Dee said...

Wow. Things suddenly got very busy at work.
Michelle, I was almost going to add in my post, "Not including your kids in a car accident, 'cause that's a given."
So we have a few height fearers, eh. You probably wouldn't want to go flying in my husband's little Cessna then. I don't like riding in it not because of fear but simple motion sickness.
Jenny, who shouldn't get out an excercise more? I used to do my Tae Bo tape every day, now I sit like a lump at the computer writing instead.
And then we have a couple more who fear public speaking like me. Going on stage repeatedly has helped a lot, but I'll always feel more comfortable talking to a few people intimately than to a big group.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Meljprincess said...

I suffer from agoraphobia so I got a membership to the YMCA. This way I have to get out of the house to get there and I get in shape at the same time.

12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have so many fears. Jenna and I have a lot in common. With flying it's not the actual flying I'm afraid of, it's the crashing that scares me to death!!

I believe that writers have more anxiety issues because of our creative imaginations.

I'm always afraid that someone is in my house. Don't like that at all.

There are so many fears that I'd take up two or three blogs.

Happy day!

Jillian

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Impotence. I'm afraid of not meeting a challenge, so I'll either procastinate or be so anal in the details that it drives everyone crazy. I try to avoid that by keeping things simple and not allowing myself to be overwhelmed by what I have to do.I keep telling myself,"one thing at a time."

Sometimes it works. (g)

1:53 PM  
Blogger sydney molare said...

Die by fire. Something about that makes my hair stand up.

2:15 PM  
Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Wow--this is a no brainer for me.

FLAT HAIR. LOLLOL

And heights. I don't even like to go up and down my spiral staircase.

Dakota :)

4:03 PM  
Blogger Bonnie Dee said...

How about being buried alive? Yeah, right, I know that never happens but doesn't the idea of it freak you out? How 'bout the scene in The Mummy where they box him up with the scarabs? Sends shivers through me. I'm not exactly claustrophobic, but do have trouble with the idea of not being able to breathe. Went on a tour of a submarine once and the enclosed space was stifling and made me feel anxious.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Jaynie said...

rats

I have a total phobia of them. Can't even watch them on tv lol

I don't know what I'm going to do when my old cat dies - she is so good at protecting me from the bastards.

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fears?

Well, I have a boatload of them. Heights. Check. Flying. Check. Crossing bridges. Check.

Damn, it's amazing I ever leave the house -- but I do, and I go up in tall buildings, but always know where the stairs are. When flying, I sit by the emergency exit - - damn right I can heft a 40# door. And Bridges? I'll avoid them whenever possible. The Mackinac Bridge put the fear of God in me as a child and I have never been the same since. Oh, and the Golden Gate bridge sways in a good stiff wind and if you've ever been in San Fran, you know it's very very windy.

I really like staying at home in front of my computer where I am safe -- at least until the New Madrid fault goes 8.2 and my house falls down around my ears. LOL

Rae Morgan

6:21 PM  
Blogger Jeanette J said...

I really don't like spiders. I read somewhere that the more you know about the thing you are afraid of, the less you will be afraid of it...well I now know tons of things about spiders...I still don't like them but I know all about them

7:16 PM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

Snakes which I'm possitively PHOBIC about! We used to live on a lake. I will do nothing to cure this LOL it's hopeless.

Speaking in public--silly me agreed to be the guest speaker at my RWA Chapter meeting next spring, but I figure it's something i need to work on if I can. But I'm the kid who sat behind the biggest person in class on teh day's we had to give oral presentations.

Kids is a given. Funny enough since we moved I don't really like staying here alone--I sleep with the lights on =)

7:29 PM  
Blogger Pamk said...

spiders and heights are my biggies. Spider I kill if I can but heights are another matter. It's funny cause when I was about 16 my uncle offered to pay for skydiving lessons and I jumped on them but mom vetoed that idea. now you couldn't pay me enough lol

9:08 PM  

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