- on behalf of Roxy Harte

Roxy's still having Blogger issues, so just call me her posting slave. Yes, Mistress! Please don't beat me, Mistress!

Roxy's Lil' Guide to BDSM Lingo:

BDSM: A version coined long ago to make almost everyone in the community happy. Basically, it can be broken down into sub-groups:

BD: Bondage and Discipline

D/s: Dominance and submission

***Dominant: someone who gains pleasure controlling and directing behavior, may or may not be sadistic

***Submissive: someone who gains pleasure being controlled and directed, may or may not be masochistic.

SM: a term used for sadomasochism and related activities or affiliations. The S standing for Sadist, the partner who gains pleasure causing pain. The M standing for Masochist, the partner who gains pleasure receiving pain.

***Top: the controlling or dominant partner in a D/s relationship. I find it interesting that it has become a very generic label, and more and more often am seeing themed references to this position of power as: Daddy, Mommy, Mistress, Master, Trainer, Dom and Domme. Each themed top then having very specific behavior attributes. A top may be a sadist or a dominant, separately, although one can be both.

***Bottom: the submissive partner in the D/s relationship, also very generic and more and more I am hearing the reference of little girl/boy, slave, pony, pet or baby, although this list could become endless and specific behaviors are again becoming very defined. A bottom is always the submissive partner; however, may or may not be masochistic.

Switch: the term most preferred for the person who easily and readily is able to switch between being a top or bottom, depending on need and/or desire.

Scene: predetermined amount of time, usually choreographed or at least discussed in detail prior to play involving SM activities. However, the word scene can also be used to describe the community as a whole.

Safe Words: A word or phrase agreed upon prior to start of play that is intended to stop play immediately should the bottom get uncomfortable enough to say it. If bottom is gagged, a safe word might not be a word at all, example a handkerchief could be held and dropping it stops play. A less extreme version of safe word would be the stop light system ie "yellow" slows play until either "red" stops play altogether or "green" allows play to reintensify. A generic safeword is "safeword!"