Got Wood?

Again, 'tis I, intrepid seeker of all things secret, Dakota Cassidy. Here with yet another bunch of naughty secrets to thrill, chill, delight and amaze you. Well, maybe you'll just be freaked out, but I take what I can get. LOL

Hoookay, so today we touch on a topic that is rather sensitive. However, seeing as I ain't the sensitive type, I'm just gonna hit y'all upside the head with it.

Oh, and remember DO NOT consider this a PROMO of any kind. Our old rules still apply. I will not, won't ever, wouldn't dream of telling you that LSB has some superb books and authors. I couldn't sleep at night if I thought you believed I'd hock someone's wares all out in public like that. It's blatant and if you know me, you'll know I am the sole of discretion...

(shut up, Michelle!) Ahem...

I'll also have you know, that I had to dig DEEP for this stuff. I mean, I'm bone weary. These LSB broads know how to make ya sweat and I don't just mean in a naughty love scene. Of course I don't mean that. That would be PROMO and it's not allowed on my watch. I'll take your gratitude in the form of checks made payable to THE DAKOTA NEEDS A NEW TIARA FUND. LOL

Okay, today's topic is -- Got Wood?

Lawd, did I get more than just some wood :)

Here's the skinny, I asked all of the authors of LSB to tell me if they'd ever had a past boyfriend or even if their hubbies and significant others, had a pet name for their pistols of passion.

Yes, I mean their procreators. Their weapons of mass destruction. Their PACKAGES. All men do, or at least most men do. They're terribly fond of the southern locales on their bodies. It only stands to reason that the island in tropical nether parts should have a name, yes? Of course it should. Any real man will tell you that.

I know, I know, you're all just chomping at the bit to know what I know, aren't you? Good gravy, did I have to dig for this stuff. If you only knew what I go through month after month. I think I broke a nail getting the scoop this time...

So, I've got lot's of names for a guys business when I write. I call it the meat whistle, the mighty fuck stick, the love gun, mini-me, magic Johnson, woody, the bologna pony, all sorts of stuff when my characters engage in dialogue. However, I had absolutely NO IDEA that the fine ladies of LSB and their DH's were so sordid, naughty, innovative. Well, there are some ex boyfriends in there too, but who am I to squabble?

We begin with author, Tracy Sharp--she wrote a book, but I simply cannot share with you the name of it, Cuz that would be PROMO. RepochickbluesRepochickblues. Tracy had a boyfriend and he liked to pretend he was French. Oui, oui, he did. He called his little buddy, Henri and he did it with a French accent. When she revealed this steamy morsel, I think I snorted Pepsi out of my nose. LOLLOL. Croissants, anyone?

Now, Darragha Foster says that she's encountered various ways one would choose to portray their little guy. "Who's your friend" and "Honking big one" was the turn of phrase, I believe. It makes you wonder just who your friends are, eh? In her novella (notapromonotapromo), for instance, she calls it a popsicle, tasty freeze and stalagmite. I think that book is called Cold Hard Kash, but I wouldn't know because this isn't a PROMO. LOLLOL

Rae Morgan's hubby has a veeerrry distinct name for it. He calls it the Purple Penis of Pleasure. Do you think it really is purple? I'm not sure I'm a believer. Seeing is believing, wouldn't you agree? Talk about your color wheel of life gone awry, huh? Do you think her heroes in her books, like the 4th Coven of the Wolf book that will be in the Zodiac Pisces, due out on Feb. 20th with another author Sherrill Quinn, use that term? Hmmmmmmmmm. I can't say for sure because this IS NOT A PROMO.

Sorry, I got a little zealous there. Phew.

Robin Danner has a friend whose name is Ben. Sigh...yes, indeed, you guessed it, he calls it Little Benji. Robin, a fine author of a book I refuse to promote (Vixen Virgens with Beth Williamson) wondered why he doesn't call it BIG BEN. Maybe he's modest? LOLLOL.

Speaking of Beth Williamson, she had someone in her life that simply called his nether friend, Candy. Like the Whoppers, ya think? Nooooo, indeed not. What he meant was "Want some candy, little girl?". Oy, vay even. Where are men like that when you need a good giggle?

Tiffany Aaron Sacks her Quarterback (notapromonotapromo) with the words pickle and Johnson. I think magic and Johnson go better together, don't you? Who am I to tell you what to call your er, friends...

Tina Holland says that her entire family has a name for their little buddies. Inadvertently, a rather odd trend began in her family. Her mother is married to a Dick, her sister is married to a Rod and her cousin is married to a Peter. This -- well, THIS speaks therapy in a very LOUD volume, yes? LOL

Let's see...who's left? Oh, I know. The diva of all diva's, troublemaker divine, Michelle Hoppe. I just shook my head when I read about her garage escapades and a thing called bemis. Don't ask, because again, I have nothing left. Something about being four years old and a you show me yours and I'll show you mine kinda deal.

Yeah, everybody say it with me -- riiiiiiiiight. LOLLOL

This concludes my dirt seeking mission for this month. The fine authors of LSB have left me weary. I'm spent from digging up the naughtiest of naughty for you and now, I really gotta get a massage and a manicure, cuz when I dug for the dirt, Michelle broke my nail. LOLLOL

Please enter the contest--all ya gotta do is sign your name to the blog and check back later tonight for the winner. E-mail me and I'll send you your boo-tay. That's it! Know what you'll win? I can't tell you ALL of the surprise -- *GodivachocolatesGodivachocolates*, but I promise, you won't be disappointed.

So do say hello to us and by all means, if you have a special name that you'd like to share--I'd LOVE to hear it!

Until next time -- This is Dakota Cassidy with all the dirt on some of erotica's hottest authors (some still under her nails) at Liquid Silver Books!