Saturday, March 04, 2006

So, what do you call it?

Good morning y'all! Beth Williamson here. My turn, my turn, my turn! Wowza, it's been too long since I blogged for SEx. Glad to be back! *tips hat*
My topic today... what do you call it? Ya know, the manly, dangling part of your SO (if indeed it is a he) or yourself? In other words, the "penis".
There are so many words used, they vary between men and women (which is veddy interesting). I've collected a list of commonly used words.
Penis (much too scientific)
Dick (men use this one a lot)
Cock (one I use consistently in my work)
Shaft (makes me think of the tv show)
Hard-on (very common)
Erection (this one "pops" in there too)
Hardness (kinda vague)
Rod of Redemption (redeeming what?)
Staff of Pleasure (let's hope so)
Pleasure stick (stick? eh, no)
Love wand (I have no idea what to think of this one)
Magic wand (where's the magic?)
Mr. Johnson (who is this?)
Wang (this one is a little too odd)
Schlong (for all the NYers out there)
All right, y'all, share your favorites! Are they on my list? Or do you have others that you use regularly - whether in speaking or in writing or in fantasy. ;)
Let the naming begin!
Everyone that posts today gets entered to win a copy of Vixen Virgins, my anthology with Robin Danner, currently available LSB. Yep, that's me. The Virgin. *BG*


Blogger Stella Price said...

ooh ooh.... lets see...

I had an ex that called it Moby, one that called it HIM (rather bizzare considering the musician), one called it Toots... still trying to figure that one out, and one called it Richard Nixon. Apparetly he could do the "I am not a crook" Speech with it. But damn if i ever saw it. lol... the next question should be.. does a guiy name his testicles????

8:58 AM  
Blogger Beth Williamson said...

Hey stella and audra! Wooboy. :) You had some interesting... names to deal with. LOL! I'd be curious to see a dick to a "I am not a crook" speech. The mind boggles a bit trying to imagine...
Does a guy name his testicles? Hmmm... yep, I'm going to say yes. I've heard "the boys", "the family jewels", "cojones". I'm sure there's plenty more too. ;)

9:09 AM  
Blogger Pam P. said...

This will be interesting to see what everyone comes up with, Beth. There's also the usual Rod or Sword.

How about a Big Dipper, lol.

9:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hummm let's see. Willie, peepee tongue, one eyed monster, lizzard, my boy, woodie, chubbie. My boys, I have three of them, call their testicles Nards. Don't ask me.
I just woke up can't think of any more.
Hollie Davidson

9:22 AM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

From the ex...tubesteak

*rolling eyes*


9:38 AM  
Blogger Sherrill Quinn said...

Mr. Happy, love muscle, pecker, prick. I'm sure there are lots more--it'll be fun to see what others list.

9:40 AM  
Blogger LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...

Purple helmeted warrior of love.

John Thomas

"Who's my friend?"

I have cousins named Rod, Dick and Lance. And guess what...they are all pony-boys. Huge.'re not talking cousin-lovin' here. We've just discussed these things over the years...sitting in the living room...the cousins, their wives and their draft horses the guys have between their legs. Rod. Dick. Lance. What was their mother thinking? "Oh, look, Burt! I've given birth to another penis! Let's name this one Lance!"


10:12 AM  
Blogger Jennie OTN said...

One of my ex's called it a Saluting Soldier...

Some popular terms in highschool were
purple headed yogurt slinger
tent pole
beaver cleaver *sigh...teenage boys*
spelunker (is that how you spell it?)

Jennie Andrus

11:28 AM  
Blogger Paige Burns said...

Mr. Love Wand, Wanker. It's not a name for a penis but my brother-in-law calls his fat tire (belly) his tool shed. You know, to protect the "tools". *rolling eyes*

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a straight forward kind of gal. Erection, shaft, cock are the words I use when it comes to making love...otherwise, it is a penis. Loved reading the terms that other people have used or heard, would never be able to pull off using any of those terms without killing the mood with my guffaws.

Little Lamb Lost

11:38 AM  
Blogger Christy Robin said...

Howdy Beth! I really have no names for it since I typically stick with dick or penis in my speech and cock in my writing. My nephew likes to use wanker, which is much better than what my mom wants him to say which is "tee tee". I always jump in to correct her and tell my nephew, "It's your penis, Boo." He's at the age where he's got penis obsession. I asked him what he was doing and he told me, "Holding my nuts." LOL! Okay, okay, so I might have taught him a few other words when my momma wasn't listening. Hee hee!


12:33 PM  
Anonymous Cherie said...

I guess I am rather unimaginative. Basically, I have used penis, schlong (had to laugh because I am a former NYer) and the family jewels.

12:52 PM  
Blogger snowflake said...

Gun. Banger. LOL

1:13 PM  
Blogger blackroze37 -tami said...

whimwam ............little elvis....winkie.........ding dong.....{since lord of the rings } my preciuos (i cant spell)

1:17 PM  
Blogger A J Matthews said...

Okay, I'll put my hand up and say I call my penis "my fella" "prick" or "the artillery." As for the other part of the assembly, "nut cluster" is a favorite.

There's the term "pillock" used for abuse here in the UK, which derives from the Old English pillie-cock = "small penis."

Anyone else find it odd that the parts we love so much should be used as terms of abuse?

1:21 PM  
Blogger Beth Williamson said...

~ Pam - rod and sword, forgot those two.
~ Hollie - nards? ROFL... I'd love to hear the origins of that!
~ Cece - tubesteak? Lord help me!
~ Sherrill - I like "love muscle" *snicker*
~ Darragha - what can I say, it's your family. I like Rod though. :)
~ Jennie - purple headed yogurt slinger? that's a new one... kinda gives me weird visual images. LOL!
~ Paige - wanker! that's one I meant to add and forgot. I like the tool belt thing... be wonderful in a book. hee hee.
~ Little lamb - yep, I don't think I could say tubesteak without laughing either. And you definitely don't want to laugh at the light of his life.
~ Robin - working on the next generation already, eh? Can't say I'm surprised. ;)
~ Cherie - me too (former NYer)
~ Jennybrat - banger? Hmmm... I like gun too. I might have to use that!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Jennifer Y. said...

LOL!!! What a post!!! I am not sure what I call it. My younger cousin used to call it a tallywacker and my nephews call is a wee-wee.

1:26 PM  
Blogger Sasha White said...

PETER! I don't call it that, but I've heard it celled 'his Petere" LOL

1:33 PM  
Blogger Beth Williamson said...

~ Tami - winkie? LMAO - I love it!
~ AJ - I'm so glad you stopped by. I love a man's perspective on the subject. :) I love "nut cluster"!
~ Jennifer - tallywacker? Interesting... I guess it could be wacked. ;)
~ Sasha - peter eh? My FIL is named Peter... that image I'm getting is not good. LOL!

3:19 PM  
Blogger Christy Robin said...

I must admit I got a kick out of Nut Cluster also. I've got another one you authors would enjoy. My youngest brother (father of aforementioned nephew) loves to say "throbbing member" around me since he knows what sort of books I write. Don't worry! I've never used the term in one of mine, but I'm quick to correct him. "Cock. My word of choice is cock." Shuts him up pretty quickly. LOL

3:38 PM  
Blogger Beth Williamson said...

~ Robin - throbbing member? LMAO! I love the way you shut him up... *still laughing*

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Little Elvis"

As in "Thank you VERY much".
And "Little Elvis has left the building".

Hi Cece!

4:15 PM  
Blogger Emma Sinclair said...

MY DH is big on "wang."

Fairly stright forward, but then he says things like...

"Hey, wanna take a ride on the wang rollercoaster?"

Don't know where he got that one and don't know why he doesn't realize it doesn't work.

4:41 PM  
Blogger Beth Williamson said...

~e ann - I love Little Elvis!
~emma - the wang rollercoaster? *rolling eyes* men sometimes think they're soooo funny. geez. I get comments from DH like that too. LOL!

5:15 PM  
Blogger ChristyJan said...

Tube Steak from ZZ Top's "Tube Steak Boogie" ~ gosh! does that date me or what?

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I asked my seven year old he said Wee wee and pee pee. My husband said: one eyed yogart slinger, tallywacker, slong, love muscle, his man toy, HEAT SEEKING MOISTURE MISSLE. omg!!!!

5:52 PM  
Blogger Tina Holland said...

I use cock, shaft and tool most frequently when writing. DH used to call his Thor (aka the hammer) and more recently Mr. Happy (and why shouldn't he be)


5:53 PM  
Blogger Pamk said...

lol i too am a straight forward kind of gal. I just think it's hilarious that all men name there's. But i've never heard a of a woman naming hers. My dh calls his junior.

6:08 PM  
Blogger Pam P. said...

Going to date myself, too. Something made me think of that silly song by Chuck Berry, which did cause some controversy. I remember it played over and over for a few weeks on the radio, It was called:

My Ding A Ling

"When I was a little bitty boy
my grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hangin' on a string
she told me it was my ding a ling

My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling"

6:16 PM  
Blogger Jeanette J said...

I like the one they used on the last episode of Golden Girls (although they may have meant sex itself not just the penis)
Dorothy and her fiance called it Freddy when Dorothy says Ready Freddy I guess we all know what she's thinking about

7:05 PM  
Blogger Jennie OTN said...

LMAO! I remember heat seeking moisture missle!

Robin - my husband says the same thing...."So hon, is the throbbing member getting any action yet?" He also thinks that every other word in a romance novel (not even erotic romance...just a regular romance) should be either crimson or throbbing, and that fantasy is just an innocent way of saying erotica.....can you tell he's not a big reader?

7:18 PM  
Blogger Beth Williamson said...

~ christyjan - aha! zz top, oh yeah, i love them. i guess we're both dated. :)
~ hollie - "heat seeking moisture missile" - LMAO!
~ tina - he should definitely be happy. I do like Thor though. tee hee
~ pam k - junior? let's hope it's a whopper :)
~ pam p - okay now i've got that song in my head. ding-a-ling!!!
~ jeanette - ready freddy... hmmm... i guess that could work with anyname that ended with a "y" - like ready bobby. LOL!
~ jennie o - I hope his crimson throbbing missile gets a little action. ;)

7:25 PM  
Blogger Sasha White said...

Christyjan~ Don't forget the ZZTop song, "Pearl Necklace." Those guys were perverts.

Uhmm ANd I shoudl probably mention I'm a huge ZZ Top fan. LOL

7:25 PM  
Blogger Beth Williamson said...

~ sasha - you've thrown me for a loop... never thought about pearl necklace like that! egads! i love zz top too.

8:01 PM  
Anonymous Hollie Davidson said...

Yeah the tubesteak boggie.....
But my all time Favorite is The art of sucking Dick by NWA. I was in high school and played that song I thought my mother was going to come unglued.
Hollie Davidson

8:03 PM  
Blogger Amie Stuart said...

I listened to NWA too Hollie and mom thought it was cool--she couldn't understand the words! LOL

The ex--tubesteak smothered in underwear *sigh* and he wonders why I left him LOL

Robin... that obsession with the penis NEVEr ends...

Hi Ann!!!

Darragha you made me laugh!

8:55 PM  
Blogger Erin Katz said...

Mr. Winkie was one I've heard.

10:53 AM  

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