Monday, March 27, 2006

Irreverent Jokes...

The Dangers of Having An Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison work."

Give us your favorite irreverent jokes
and I'll pick someone to recieve a free download.

Laughter and prizes all wrapped up in one fun blog!


Blogger WCP/FB said...

Hey Cece! Thanks so much for stopping by today. You made a very good point about readers vs editors/writers!

And thank you for the compliment on my toddler!

11:37 AM  
Blogger WCP/FB said...

Oops. Thought I was still posting from my personal publishing blog, Dreams of the Big Red Lion. Sorry! {blush}

11:38 AM  
Blogger snowflake said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:37 PM  
Blogger snowflake said...

Answering machine answers...
"Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you."

1:38 PM  
Blogger Jennifer Y. said...

Here is one I heard recently:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boy, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

3:46 PM  
Blogger KimW said...

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, isunable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room,he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ... ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection." The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" "I couldn't even get on the bed.."

and another one...

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you
can get the milk for free?", here's an update.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

8:57 PM  
Blogger thecree said...

I've swapped the genders here for you ladies.

It was the best day of my life. I walked into the church and down the aisle. Everyone smiling and nodding to me, the minister said some nice words. Then I gently kissed my husband on the lips.....and closed the lid.

4:28 PM  

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