Monday, January 30, 2006

SEx Toys: The Valentine’s Day Edition

Okay, the sexiest day of the year will soon be upon us. Oh, every day is the sexiest day of the year for you? Lucky, lucky girl! Unfortunately, some of us have to wait for good old February 14th, Valentine’s Day. Yep, the day the nearly naked cherub-y looking midget in a diaper starts flinging arrows right and left, forcing certain significant others into buying us sexy, romantic loot. Most of which will either be consumed immediately or never worn again, consigned to the black hole at the back of the drawer.

As a public service to SEx visitors, I’ve ventured onto the Internet to find the perfect Valentine’s Day gifts. You know, the kind that keep on giving. Yes, folks, these are unique, non-consumable (for the most part, I have to admit I couldn’t resist a few tasty treats!) and indestructible (well, maybe, it all depends on ... well, “usage”) gifts.

Note to readers: I am not posting the web sites here, but will respond to inquiries as to where to find these perfectly stupendous gifts over at the Liquid Silver Readers Loop at Yahoo Groups. Purely in the interest of public service, you know.

All righty then, let’s start with what can be classified as the PG-13 gifts. Romantic, but not risky or risque.



Kama Sutra Kit: Contains body oils and dusts that can be, um, licked or eaten off the body. Plus lubricants, well, for you know, lubricating those areas that need such. And a handy-dandy little feather duster for the body dust and just general playfulness. A box full of fun for less than $30.







Cinnamon Lube: Makes his purple penis of pleasure all slippery and tasty as a cinnamon cookie lollipop. Oh, and the lube heats up, an interesting sensation for those private areas, male or female. A bargain at less than $10. Combine it with any of the other kits in this blog for an extra special treat.







Cupid’s Massage Kit: A heart-shaped box containing massage oil that gets warm when kneaded into tight, hard muscles (wheresoever they are located ) and full instructions on how to perform the perfect, loving massage. Not edible like the Cinnamon Lube. Less than $15.







Bed of Roses Kit: Lots of silk rose petals to spread on the bed for, well, a bed of roses. Rose-scented bubble bath. Edible chocolate massage oil. You knew that chocolate had to figure in here somewhere, yes? Beats Godiva all to pieces for originality. Bliss balm, not sure, don’t ask, use your imagination, I’m just reporting here. A massager. And a sexy invitation to a night of bliss all in a black satin bag. Less than $30.







Kama Sutra Paint Box:
For the serious chocaholics. Two ounces each of white, milk, and dark chocolate edible paint with a paintbrush. Rembrandt would be proud. For the artistic among you. Less than $40.





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R-Rated - - these gifts are romantic, fun, and personal but not so kinky as to need lock and key.


Red Hot Adjustable Cuffs, matching blindfold and feather tickler with kiwi-strawberry warming lotion. For the fun-loving couple. All for less than $25.

Shopper’s Alert: Of course, you can always just bop down to Kroger’s (a Midwestern grocery chain) and buy pink fuzzy handcuffs – I swear I’m not kidding. Right there, Aisle 10, next to the sweet tart heart-shaped candies and the red, white and pink M&Ms and across from the Baking Items. :)





Sexy Dice: A pair of dice. Duh! One die has the actions to be performed; the other, the parts of the body on which said action is to be performed. You won’t see these dice on any craps table in Vegas. The number of combos? 1x2x3x4x5x6x7x8x9x10x11x12 – you do the math. Less than $10.







Treasure Pillow: A pillow in red flames fabric that has a secret compartment for your toys. Every boudoir should have one. $35.00




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X-Rated, HOT gifts for the more adventuresome couple.

Sybian Sex machine: Remember that blog on vibrators? Where I said that the Hitachi Magic Wand was the primo vibrator out there? Well, I was wrong. Yes, I can admit when I am wrong. Whereas the Hitachi is the Mercedes of vibrators and the Eager Beaver is the Cadillac - - this little machine is the Bentley. Unlike other vibrators which require a hand to hold the vibrator in place, the Sybian is meant to be ridden. Yes, you read it correctly, ridden! - - just as you would ride your lover. The Sybian has many attachments for insertion and the motor has no time limits. The use of the machine in your sex play is only limited by your or your partner’s imagination. Costly, but for the gift that really keeps on giving, a sound investment. Approximately $1,400.




Bondage bed sheets: Just what they sound like. Attachments on the sheets keep your partner where you want him or her. You know you want them! Less than $130.








Passion’s Prisoner: A set containing wrist restraints, blindfold, feather tickler, tweezer nipple clamps, and a soy body wax candle that can be dripped onto your bound partner and then massaged into their skin. All for $50.



My Sexy Valentine: A sonic vibrator ring to place on his penis to stimulate your clit. Yes! An orchid g-spot vibrator for that extra oomph. Babe lube for a smooth insertion, and batteries for the toys. $30.








Penis Dildoes: Your choice of colors. 7 inches long and 1.75 inches in diameter (that’s 5.5 inches around, gals!). $15


OR




If you want it really big!! A Jeff Stryker penis dildo, measuring 10 inches long (yes, almost the length of a ruler!! Oy!), 2 inches diameter or 7.5 inches around. Yowza. $64.






There you have it. Lots of yummy, sexy ideas for Valentine’s Day.

Print out the list and leave it lying around for your mate to find. Highlight the ones you want, better yet, rank them as to priority. This year get what you really want for Valentine’s Day. And be sure to show just how appreciative you are when you get one of these super gifts. I would hate to see all my research go to waste.

Have a Happy and SExy Valentine’s Day!

Rae Morgan
Author of “No Secrets,” Book 4 in the Coven of the Wolf Series Due out on February 20th in ZODIAC PISCES

24 Comments:

Blogger Michelle said...

Morning Rae,

Well now, what a delightful list of goodies you've discovered for us. I've printed the list, checked it twice, left a note that I'll be naughty and nice.

Got my fingers crossed and am counting down the days to February 14th, ~smiles~

Michelle

9:50 AM  
Blogger Sherrill Quinn said...

Wow, Rae. Thanks for doing all the research. Now I just gotta hope Cupid shoots one of those arrows in someone interesting who looks my way. {{waggle eyebrows}}

10:22 AM  
Blogger Jenna Howard said...

Oy!!

I saw the bondage sheets once. Very scary live. That saddle thing looks an awful lot like the plunger I saw at a sex show (I was traumatized at the attachments). Not quite the same thing - not as scary. That...that...that monstrosity we saw was terrifying.

And Holy Dinah on the Jeffy special!

You can tell Rae suffered greatly for us, Sherrill. Absolutely brutal research, y'know. Way to take one for the team! Maybe two...three...

10:24 AM  
Blogger snowflake said...

Morning, Rae! Thanks for the list. The bondage bedsheets look really interesting.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Dee said...

Rae, what a great blog!! I love it when pleasure and vital, love-giving knowledge combine.

But seriously, Kroger??!!? Man, I have to change my grocery store!

Thanks for all the info--this is one blog Jack will have to read!

Dee
www.deesknight.com

10:42 AM  
Blogger Vanessa Hart said...

Well, you definitely woke me up this morning with this interesting and magnificent display!

Did you ever go to one of those "Secrets" parties (for women only) where they sell all of this stuff plus sexy lingerie? I have. Oh, what shopping fun.

Nessie

10:49 AM  
Blogger Vanessa Hart said...

I keep telling everybody. Kroger is my favorite supermarket!

Nessie

10:50 AM  
Blogger Trista Ann Michaels said...

I think I'm going to have to check out Kroger...:)

Trista

10:54 AM  
Anonymous shellya said...

lol, Kroger, who knew! Thanks for the ideas. Ooh, I'm really excited about Valentine's Day this year. Dh's birthday is on the 16th and I'm thinking this will be one he will remember with a huge smile. :)

12:42 PM  
Blogger Meljprincess said...

I want the pink dildo. However, the Jeff Stryker 10 inch isn't too shabby. Seriously, all I want are books and chocolate. *G*

"got me the strangest woman
believe me this trick's no cinch
but I really get her going
when I whip out my big 10 inch..."
-Aerosmith

12:52 PM  
Blogger Rae Morgan said...

Thanks for stopping by gang. Yeah, I'm always ready to take one for the team. LOL

Yes, Kroger. You could've knocked me over with that red feather.

And thanks, meljprincess, for the Aerosmith quote. I love Aerosmith.

Rae

1:45 PM  
Blogger Rae Morgan said...

Shellya--

My DH's birthday is on the 15th and mine on the 22nd. We have a FUN February treating each other. Hope you and your DH have three times the fun we have.

Rae

1:47 PM  
Blogger Cyndi Redding said...

Woo Hoo!

I know what I'm asking for! Terrific research, babe.

Cyndi

4:47 PM  
Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

I want the sheets, but I don't want them for myself and my hottie.

I want them so I can tie my kids to their beds. ROFLMAO

Dakota :)

5:39 PM  
Blogger Jeanette J said...

Very nice assortment of goodies
Thanx for the list

6:03 PM  
Blogger Rae Morgan said...

Dakota--

what a great idea!

Jeanette --

You are very welcome!

Rae

7:28 PM  
Blogger Robin49 said...

I saw your notice over at Liquid Silver! It's great to have the URLs up for those who are interested or can have fun with them. What an insentive! Great gift ideas but hubby would freak at most of ideas :( . He does ok without them though! :)

8:14 PM  
Blogger KimW said...

Lots of ideas there. Thanks for doing all the research and showing what's out there. I swear sometimes I live in the dark. LOL

8:24 PM  
Blogger Pamk said...

Okay Rae that was a nice list of prezzies. A couple I already but you named a few that I need badly. lol I also agree with Dakota those sheets would be good for the kids

8:57 PM  
Blogger Caffey said...

Evening Ray! Not only did we get the list, we got the pics, BG But really thanks bunches. I am printing it out :) I didn't know I could pick the color ones! Alot i haven't seen before so this is educational too!
Cathie

9:02 PM  
Blogger Caffey said...

Oh I didn't know about a new wolf book!! I can't wait. I'll for sure love reading more in that series Rae!
Cathie
PS going back to check out the dice :D

9:03 PM  
Blogger Rae Morgan said...

Hey, PamK, Kim W and Caffey -- thanks for dropping by.

And thanks, Caffey, I had lots of fun telling Boris and Debby's love story.

Rae

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Debbie E said...

I am really impressed Rae. In the grocery store?? Wow! That must have been funny!

Well this year I think I'll surprise my husband with a new toy!

He'll be shocked since he usually does that shopping.

Thanks! I had a lot of fun checking out your options!

9:28 PM  
Blogger Rae Morgan said...

Debbie e -- Thanks for stopping by. Well, the grocery store did surprise me, this is the Midwest after all and that seemed a bit risque. :)

Rae

8:18 AM  

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